{Day 13} Preventing Self-Martyrdom

It is not uncommon amongst mommy-lists and forums to hear the whining of the self-martyred woman.  She complains that she is always doing, giving, draining; she complains about having to work, or about not working; she complains about her kids, her husband, her life.  There is a difference between venting frustrations and other negative emotions, and martyring yourself to those emotions.  While it is important to have an outlet, a pressure valve release, it is even more important to not let it overtake our life.  Oftentimes, it's about attitude and perspective.

No, life isn't always roses and cotton candy fluff.  Sometimes its marshmallow cream.  Sometimes it's day old beans.  Sometimes, it's the quagmire of a dried-up creek.  Always, however, is our ability to choose.  We choose our attitude.  We choose to have children (by choosing to participate in activities that can generate children--I'm not branching into the discussion of those cases/situations where the woman was denied the choice, that is not for this post), we choose to marry or to be a couple.  Somewhere along the line, we made choices that landed us where we are, doing what we are doing.  With choice comes consequence and responsibility.  And with consequence and responsibility comes our choice of attitude.

Sometimes we can't see our forest for the trees.  It can be hard to adjust our attitude or our perspective when we feel bogged down in a rut.  That's when blogs can be helpful, especially if you cannot find sufficient support where you are--and if nothing else, there's loads of other perspectives to browse out there.  For "the uncensored voice of motherhood" visit the blog of get born magazine.  They're great for venting without self-martyrdom (and they have some fantastic discussions on Facebook!)  For an incredible variety of blogs ranging from practicing gratitude to changing the world to simply creating a better ordinary for yourself be sure to check out the plethora of participants in the 31 Days of Change this year. 

As you move through your life of choices, consequences, and responsibilities, remember that self-martyrdom is a venomous poison that can tear down you and your family--is that something you truly want to choose?  Does that encourage you or your loved ones to Rush Home?