{Day 8} Honoring Strengths

Every marriage, every family, has their rough patches as they learn and grow with each other.  Some seem to choose their misery though, and then cling to it as their disdain and venom grows.  Others, however, recognize the strengths of their partners and family members and literally grow with them rather than away from them.

I often hear women (especially stay-at-home-mothers) complaining about how they "lost" themselves and need to go find themselves again.  During quiet moments I wonder if this is because they were being reactive with life in general, rather than proactive, or if they are actually eyeballing other pastures and thinking they are greener.  Even a rocky, barren field can look green from a distance given the right circumstances.  And how much of the "lost" sensation is the outcome of selfishness and self-martyrdom?  Could it have been avoided by being compassionate towards herself and her family?

Back to the rough patches--there is an ebb and flow to relationships, and the beginnings are oftentimes bumpy.  Perhaps bumpier than some may anticipate, or it simply isn't meeting their "perfect" expectations.  One of the things that helped my marriage through its bumpy times is that we both started out this journey refusing divorce as an option.  That doesn't mean it's never been discussed, just that it's never an option.  We both came from broken homes, and feel strongly about this--if we got married, we were married through thick and thin.  As we age, we're getting a bit more thick.  ;)

Another thing that has helped our marriage, and it's something that has us Rushing Home to one another, is that we value each others strengths.  We're like two puzzle-pieces: very different parts of the big picture, but we fit together really well.  We have different temperaments, different upbringings, different educational experiences, different parenting examples, different religious views, different ways of handling money, different ways of organizing, and different strengths.  All our differences balance each other and provide us opportunities to grow our communication skills.  ;)  When we honor each others strengths and allow them to best benefit our family we prosper in joy and familial peace.

And Joy and Peace are wonderful things to Rush Home To.