I find that the times I'm being selfish (Just Leave Me Alone!) are the times we have the most contention and discord in the household. But the times that I dig past that selfishness and choose to be of service to my family--listening to the unfunny made up joke for the thousandth time, reading a book for the fifth time in twenty minutes, cleaning up the lunch mess they left behind rather than harp at them for the hundredth time, etc--we all have a more cheerful day.
This isn't an advocation for bottom-rung parenthood (or spousehood in a child-free family), where the needs of the parent or spouse are always last--this is about compassionate service to your family, being modeled for your children and your spouses.
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marshmallows for my cocoa